On Men Who Hate Women

We are all women of Cologne

For the past year or so I have been reading so many newspaper articles of random attacks on women: rape, harassment, intimidation. And I’ve reached the point when I have to say ENOUGH! I’m not putting up with this shit anymore. And I will not let political correctness compromise my personal safety.

What happened in Cologne is not an isolated incident and should not be glossed over because of misguided political correctness. Nor should it be hijacked to promote a racist agenda. This is not about whether the perpetrators of these crimes are migrants or asylum seekers, or about how we should feel and talk about the issue if they are or not.

This is about women being attacked, sexually harassed and raped. And that is not just wrong but against the law in just about every country in the world, regardless of the colour, race or ethnic origin of the perpetrator.

What about justice for the victims?

Why does political correctness demand that the victims be blamed? Wasn’t victim-bashing banned decades ago? And what about human rights? Women are human beings, too, aren’t they?

Only a person completely out of touch of ordinary life can urge young women to keep at arm’s length from strangers. Clearly, the mayor of Cologne has never taken the bus or the train at rush hour… And as odd as it might sound to politicians suffering from affluenza-induced elitism, many women do walk outside after dark. They might be coming from work. Or maybe they had a drink in a bar. Maybe they even flirted. Who cares? It shouldn’t make them fair game for predators.

Yes, young women are naive and trusting and idealistic. And they may think that you can always reason with another human being, explain that it is not nice to grope. I know, I was young once, too, and probably somewhat idealistic. Although I do remember that when I was sexually harassed by a drunk middle-aged marketing executive on the dance floor, I slapped him. Which leads me to give this piece of advice to young women:
If someone starts groping you, grab him by the balls and squeeze. Hard. Like your life depended on it. Because one day it may…

Aren’t we being a bit elitist, then?

Why are we so shocked when it’s European women subjected to sexual harassment by organised groups of men? Shouldn’t we also object to the way women were assaulted during the Arab Spring or gang-raped in India and Africa?

Of course we should, and we do.

But we are European women: there is very little we can do about atrocities that take place in the Middle East, in Africa or in India. But in Europe we are citizens, taxpayers and voters. We have power.

As European women we expect to be treated as equals to men, we can express our opinions without fear, and there are no cultural or religious constraints of ‘appropriate behaviour’ we need to comply with.

We must reclaim the streets

We, European women, must reclaim the streets of our cities. Our politicians are too concerned for being labeled racist to do something as controversial as saying there’s a problem. And the police have seen their resources cut to the extent they can barely function. And I for one do not want some far-right yobs calling themselves citizens’ ‘street patrols’ in charge of my safety. That didn’t work so well in the 1930’s and we should have learned a few lessons from that…

No, it’s women in Europe who must come together, irrespective of our political, religious or ethnic differences, and stand together in this. This concerns us all, and these are our streets and our towns, and we are not going to surrender them to organised mobs of men who hate women.

We can, and should, say “ENOUGH!”

And while we’re at it, why not ask those migrant women to join us, too? You know, those women who fled war, violence, sexual harassment and rape to Europe. We should ask them to stand side by side with us when we demand our politicians stop mincing their words and start doing something so that we don’t have to be afraid in our own cities.

What do you think, are you with me?




  1. terrymhp
    7 January 2016 / 9:01 pm

    I agree with the sentiment, but I don't think saying "enough" is going to stop sexual assault and robbery. If the police can't protect you and you don't want protection from civilians, what are you actually going to do tonight for the women who want to go about their lives unmolested? Actions, not words. What is the plan?

    • Tiina L
      9 January 2016 / 12:07 pm

      It is the job of the police to protect civilians, and the job of politicians to make that possible. My aim is to get women like me – ordinary women with no desire to promote extreme tendencies of any sort – to realise that it is up to us to demand that politicians stop hiding behind political correctness and start doing something about the problem. But first women like me have to understand that this is a problem that concerns women everywhere, also us.

  2. Suzanne Carillo
    7 January 2016 / 9:21 pm

    I agree with this sentiment and I can feel the frustration in your words. Things have gotten out of hand. I don't know how I'd feel if I lived in Cologne. I'd probably be too scared to leave my house which is beyond ridiculous. Suzanne

    • Tiina L
      9 January 2016 / 12:14 pm

      Things have definitely got out of hand. Something similar to what happened in Cologne was planned in Helsinki, too, but the police managed to prevent it and it was just isolated incidents. But I have to say that I've never, ever been afraid walking alone at night in Finland. Until recently. I have read about such horrible cases of rape, in my own home country, in the newspaper this past year that it has changed the way I see a lot of things, and I've realised that tolerance has limits. But I refuse to give on to fear or change my lifestyle. This is my town, my country, and I want all women evrywhere to reclaim their streets and towns, too.

  3. Shybiker
    7 January 2016 / 11:18 pm

    Yes! Good! It's time men got the message. Harassment and violence toward women is based on sexist beliefs that have no place in modern society. Such behavior is unacceptable and ought to be confronted. Women have taken enough crap through history; it's time they were treated with respect. Good for you, Tiina.

    • Tiina L
      9 January 2016 / 12:19 pm

      The problem is that now as the perpetrators are refugees, the issue gets a bit tangled up in a web of political correctness. And the discussion gets hijacked and becomes a battle between ideologies. And I'm tired of that. I don't care whether the men doing this are white or black or purple with yellow spots; it's time women ditch political correctness and say that this is not acceptable.

  4. No Fear of Fashion
    8 January 2016 / 6:47 pm

    I strongly feel about this subject. It is the one subject which can still make me raving mad. So yes I am with you. At the same time, if I look at history and human nature as a whole, I have no illusions. Where there are people, there will be war. Where there is hunger and anonymity there will be violence, where there are men, there will be rape. I think the world would be a lot better of if all people were wiped off the earth. OK …. that was profound ranting.Greetje

    • Tiina L
      9 January 2016 / 12:24 pm

      I have no illusions, either. But I also believe " when in Rome, do as the Romans do", and multiculturalism should not be used as an excuse to allow criminal activity. Yes, I think refugees deserve protection. But European women should not be trown under the bus, either. In other words, "want to come to Europe, then respect European laws". And more importantly, European women should demand their human rights are respected, too.

    • No Fear of Fashion
      16 January 2016 / 7:01 pm

      I would say: any woman anywhere.

  5. Jane in London
    11 January 2016 / 10:25 pm

    Quite right, Tiina. Those ECHR articles apply to all citizens – not just men. Women have equal standing in law and that is something that everyone needs to understand is non-negotiable. The apparent rise (or perhaps just better reporting) of woman-hating acts and attitudes is deeply worrying for us all and for our daughters. I thought we had made progress over the last 30 years, so this sort of stuff is hugely dispiriting. MPs and other opinion-formers need to be lobbied by all our womens' and civil liberties groups. And that means us all getting involved!

    • Tiina L
      12 January 2016 / 4:14 pm

      It's almost as if we took one step ahead and now it's two steps back. And the worst part is that violence against women is now being sold to us in the guise of tolerance! As if men from another culture somehow have a free pass to do all the shitty stuff it took us a couple of generations to teach western men to give up. I don't get that.

  6. Anonymous
    14 January 2016 / 10:13 am

    I have never seen any men who hate women) But the most strange for me was why they prefer elder women! But after reading https://kovla.com/blog/guys-20s-want-women-40s/ I began to understand them) They have the reasons)

    • Tiina L
      14 January 2016 / 11:36 am

      I was referring to what happened in Cologne, Germany on New Year's Eve: hundreds of women have filed complaints about sexual harassment, mugging, even rape as groups of allegedly North African and Arab men ganged up on them. This is a clear case of men hating women, don't you think?

    • Anonymous
      14 January 2016 / 2:29 pm

      Not all women are like those one!!!

    • Tiina L
      14 January 2016 / 2:39 pm

      Women? I don't understand your point. Lots of women were assaulted by men, in what seemed to be an organised attack. Ordinary women celebrating New Year, trying to get to the railway station and go home. And groups of men circled them and started groping and harassing them, stole their phones, tried to undress them. This is a rather unusual experience for most women, I would imagine. I certainly would never expect men to behave this way towards women minding their own business. But apparently this type of harassment is fairly common in the Middle East, they even have a name for it. I just don't think it should happen in Europe. And if you think that the men behaving this way are the newly arrived asylum seekers, coming to Europe to escape violence, and then they attack European women this way. Don't you think women should report these crimes?

  7. Alexandra B.
    18 January 2016 / 8:36 am

    I very much agree with this sentiment. And I dislike a lot how it is used to further political agendas left and right, and to feed hate against & between whole generalized groups instead of just adressing the problem with those that do & did it, if you know what I mean. Not all of them are bad. But those that are need to be slapped. Hard. Twice for good measure.And you are right, a lot of things are being left unsaid and swept under the carpet by the all mighty fear of being labelled a racist. Or in case of this being Germany, a Nazi. But it's not being either if you say "okay, you come here, you behave according to our rules". After all, it's what we expect from anyone coming to our house no? That they behave. And if they do not know what kind of behaviour towards women is expected from them, then maybe it's beyond high time they are being taught.

    • Tiina L
      18 January 2016 / 4:00 pm

      I hear you. The issues get lost in politics, everything gets very polarised. I often think people hide behind political correctness to avoid facing difficult issues. We're having this sort of a situation in Finland, too (similar assaults on New Year's Eve, although on a lot smaller scale) and lots of (so-called liberal) people are just doing everything they can to bury the problem under a lot of angry comments on 'sexism inherent in our society'…

Leave a Reply