I was in Brexitania last weekend
You know, the country that insists on shooting itself in the foot, then blames its neighbours.
Or maybe it should be called Little England (because the leaders of the said country couldn’t care less about how people in Northern Ireland and Scotland feel about Brexit). No, I think I like Brexitania better. That’s what I’m going to call it from now on.
So, why was I in Brexitania, then?
Again? Isn’t this like the third (or fourth, who’s counting) time this year?
OK, if you’re new to this blog, here’s the short version: my husband, Professor M, works in Brexitania, and we have a second home there. And because we want to spend weekends together, one of us has to travel, and this time it was me.
I used to enjoy these weekend trips to Brexitania. Of course, that was before it became known as Brexitania; when it was still a normal country. You know, when they still had some more or less sane (or at last not completely insane) politicians, and nice, ordinary people didn’t blame everything on ‘foreigners’, ‘Europeans’, or ‘immigrants’ (i.e. people like me and my husband).
But since the country collectively took leave of its senses almost three years ago, it’s been like watching a big red bus (covered in inane slogans) hurtling towards a concrete wall, in slow motion. Trust me, it’s not pretty.
As you must have figured out by now, this is my Brexit update. So, if you’re not interested, just skip it; there will be an outfit post on Sunday…
Right, back to the impending slow-mo-big-red-bus crash…
So far, every twist and turn of this saga has been boringly predictable and completely avoidable. Yet, the big red bus stays on its chosen course, intent on hitting that wall. Never mind that the unwilling passengers at the back of the bus keep asking the driver to slow down or stop, or that passers-by hold up signs warning that hitting a concrete wall is not a good idea. The passengers at the front of the bus are so busy fighting over who gets to drive next that they refuse to pay any attention to warnings (whether from inside the bus or outside it). And like the rest of the world – outside Brexitania, that is – I’m getting bored with the whole thing.
Because you can only watch a self-inflicted slow-mo car crash for so long. At first it’s oddly fascinating, in a creepy sort of way: you can’t believe what you’re seeing, and keep expecting the driver to hit the brakes to avoid collision. But then you get a chronic whiplash from constantly rolling your eyes and realise ‘I told you so‘ has become your standard answer to any question. So, to maintain your own sanity, you just stop giving a damn and move on.
So, what will happen next?
Who knows. Who cares. I’m not sure I do, anymore. I just want it to be over, one way or another. It’s not like I’m personally affected. Well, I am, sort of, because my darling husband is one of the 3 million EU citizens held hostage by a hostile, quasi-totalitarian regime in Brexitania. And yes, my choice of words is deliberate here.
So, to recap the recent events to those of you who haven’t followed this never-ending nightmare: Brexitania had already struck a deal with the EU. However, Brexitanian parliament has rejected the said deal. Twice. Brexitanian parliament has also rejected the idea of leaving the EU without a deal. So, the supreme leader of the Brexitanian regime wants the parliament to vote on the twice rejected deal again. Or postpone the withdrawal date. Possibly both, who knows anymore…
The only thing that is certain is that the supreme leader of the regime is adamant that under no circumstances should Brexitanian citizens get to vote on whether they want the proposed deal, no deal, or no Brexit. Only the parliament gets to vote until the result satisfies the supreme leader. And the vassal states under Brexitanian rule (you know, the pesky independent-minded Scots and rebellious Irish) should just stop whining because the supreme leader has no time for the insignificant worries of the little people. After all, she is in the middle of a Machiavellian power struggle and trying to prevent her power-hungry rivals from stabbing her in the back, or worse, to oust her as the supreme leader. And nothing is more important than keeping her position…
Meanwhile in the EU, the leaders of 27 nations are getting increasingly tired of the whole fiasco. Let’s face it, by now everyone is bored out of their heads by Brexit and the Brexitanians who still don’t have the faintest clue as to what they want. And with the elections looming (yes, MEPs are actually elected, by the citizens of their respective countries), they would very much like to get back to business as usual. You know, sorting out problems that actually can be sorted out. So, the EU is beginning to feel that it doesn’t really matter how Brexitania leaves the block, as long as they do. The sooner the better. ‘Adios amigos, it was great while it lasted, bye-bye and good riddance; now, let’s get back to the real world’, that sort of thing.
It’s obvious that I don’t enjoy these trips to Brexitania these days.
Yet, I still keep going back. But only because I want to see my husband (who, as you recall, is not from Brexitania but only works there). However, while I’m there, I find it too stressful trying to meet new people (because they might turn out to be brextremists, and I think it’s pointless trying to talk to zealots of any variety), so I mainly keep to myself.
And yes, I know there are a lot of nice, decent people still out there. But they’re doing a very good job hiding. I was very eager to find them, the first year or so, but I’ve given up now. I just don’t have the energy. So, if you’re one of those elusive nice, sane people, give me a sign of life so that I know you’re not just a figment of my imagination (or wishful thinking).
What’s been frustrating you lately?
Tiina
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Yep I’m one of those people, didn’t want to leave in the first place, nor did any of the people I know! God knows who did vote to leave, biggest shock of my life when the leave vote won. Cannot believe what is going on at the moment, makes me so sad and ashamed, I’m old enough to have voted to join in the EU in the first place! Keep up the blogging it’s much appreciated!
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Thank you, Lin, for your comment!
I remember when we got the results leave had won, I was completely chocked. Even though I don’t have any plans to live in the U.K., I’m a frequent visitor, and this whole mess is so painful to watch.
Thank you Tiina for your comment.The Germans have convinced (at the last minute, deadline is 28th of March) my husband to better apply for German citizenship as they simply do not know what happens to his permanant residence rights once Britain leaves the EU. Such a mess.
Author
Oh dear, that’s cutting it close! Does your husband have to give up his British citizenship to get a German passport?
Well, Tiina, I live in the United States so I don’t think I need to elaborate on what’s been frustrating me lately…. DO I, DO I, TIINA????????????????????? Sorry, let’s just say, I can relate! (LOL!)
Author
H, ha! I think I can guess…
As a Scot married to an Irishman living in France I too despair. It was bad enough that people voted leave, and I didn’t have a vote, but the country has collapsed in to hate. The only hope I have, as a Republican, is that Scotland will get its independence and Ireland will be united. My husband has an Irish passport I plan to become a French citizen although with the rise of extremism here that no longer seems a very attractive prospect. I hope your husband can keep his job or find one he enjoys in ‘Europe’.
Author
That’s the worst part; all those people who didn’t get to vote on something that directly affects them, that is just so incredibly unfair.
Who knows what will happen… an independent Scotland and a united Ireland might be the best possible outcome, although not something the vote leave architects wanted.
And the rise of populism… that scares me, and it’s in times like these that we need the EU the most. And we need moderate, politically not active people to take a stand for a better future.
Thanks for you good wishes. I think my husband’s job is safe (he already has the ‘settled status’); ironically he’s the kind of ‘immigrant’ the U.K. wants…
I feel bad for all the Brits who didn’t want this but you know, as an American, I’m one of the people who didn’t want what we have now! I can relate! I seriously feel bad for them. Arlene from NJ
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Thanks, Arlene! I know what you mean, things are going wrong on so many levels right now, and the future seems very uncertain, or downright scary at times.
I know things are now complicated for a lot of people. It must be worst for people whose legal status isn’t solved, for example those working in UK with a temporary work permit and no citizenship. I know that tourists from UK had problems last year (I think it was last summer?) when the whole thing started and there was some kind of issue with the pound conversion. Imagine being on a vacation and not being able to access your bank account or convert your money. Will the same thing happen again? It’s the damn uncertainty that’s the worst. Nothing seems to be resolved and I think the majority of people are getting really really fed up.
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I think it will get a whole lot more complicated still. There are a lot of people who can’t, or don’t want to get British citizenship as they might lose their original citizenship (not all countries allow dual citizenship). And the fact that there’s no system for registering people (or ID cards of any sort) doesn’t help. EU citizens living in the U.K. have to prove they’re entitled to stay by showing pay slips and bank statements and God knows what… the whole system there is so inadequate and archaic.
For tourists I think the worst thing is that the pound has been losing value for quite a while, and it will be ages before it recovers (if it ever will), and yes, the banks in the U.K. can be a bit moody, too.
I can only imagine the frustration you and your husband must be enduring. It seems hard to imagine how this all happened without the leave factors being in place. I was in France when it all happened and I remember the news of the time.
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It’s been very frustrating, and I think the stress caused by Brexit has had a lasting effect on our health. I can only imagine how horrible it must have been for British-EU families I(with children and commitments, and lives unravelling)… At least we can always just ‘walk away’ from all of this (in theory, anyway) and start over.