If you are a middle-aged woman and have an Instagram account, you have probably come across some ardent admirers. They typically have about 8 posts, and they only follow women in their 40’s, 50’s, 60’s or older. And most of them have a string of numbers after their usernames. That’s why I call them the number men.
The number men start following you, expecting you to follow them back. But even if you don’t (and if for some inexplicable reason you haven’t already blocked them), sooner or later they will DM you, perhaps just to say Hi or Hello (or some other more or less lame version of that). Some of them are more direct and tell you how unbelievably beautiful you are, and how much they would like to get to know you.
I don’t need to tell you that these
poor suckers romantic souls are not mistaking Instagram for Tinder. Or that only an idiot doesn’t know that they have a more sinister agenda, which will soon become apparent if you continue talking to them.
However, the number men seem to think that most women have IQs smaller than their dress sizes. So, they keep trying. Never mind the obvious scam, underestimating my intelligence is good enough a reason to block anyone, in my opinion. And I block (and report) dozens of number men every day, and probably you do, too.
In spite of that, they still annoy me. Not just because there seems to be an endless supply of them (although, oddly enough, not an endless supply of the photos you see on their feeds…), and blocking them is the Instagram version of whack-a-mole. What annoys me most is that every time another one these number men pops up in my followers, I want to scream ‘How F***ing stupid do you think I am?!?’, or, ‘Come on, is that really the best you can do?!?‘.
You see, I have no tolerance for stupidity, in any form. Seriously, nothing annoys me more than stupid people. Except people who take me for an idiot…
Anyway, as scammers, the number men are not even mediocre; they suck. They are unimaginative and lazy. Which makes checking their bios a good way to let off some steam.
Let’s see, what are the number men like?
Besides good looks and very generic names, such as John Williams or Ben Miller, they always have an adorable child (sometimes an elderly mother), who is generously featured on their instagram feed (that is, in at least a few of the 8 photos).
And they all have exciting careers: doctors, engineers, generals, or sometimes all of the above. Needless to say that this fantastic career is also generously featured on the very well-edited Instagram feed…
However, some of the details might be a bit confusing. For example, the name tag and rank of the very handsome military man in the picture might not match the name and rank in the bio. But women don’t care about little inconsistencies, right?
And have you noticed that so many of these more or less high-ranking ‘American’ officers have such a poor command of the spelling and grammar of their native language? But who am I to judge? After all, English is not my native language; I’m just an EFL teacher with almost 30 years of teaching experience…
And being up to date on world events or politics seems a bit challenging for them, too. Or perhaps ‘Seargeant Miller‘ didn’t get the memo last August…
Oh well, who can keep up with all of that? It is often better to play it safe and avoid divulging any details. After all, women like a bit of mystery. It’s far more important to show potential
marks partners that the man in the photos is not only a trustworthy professional but also very sensitive and romantic. Because every woman wants a surgeon who posts pictures of flowers and/or other cheesy romantic imagery…
Thank you for reading the rant of the week, or month, or the moment. It is good to vent a bit every once in a while. You know, when you take a break from whack-a-mole…
What do you do about the number men who start following you?
Linking up with:
Elegantly Dressed and Stylish, High Latitude Style, A Labour of Life, Curly Crafty Mom, Doused in Pink, Not Dressed As Lamb, Living on Cloud Nine, Elegance and Mommyhood, Nancy’s Fashion Style, Shelbee on the Edge, A Pocketful of Polka Dots Style Splash, Away from the Blue, Mummabstylish , The Grey Brunette, Mutton Years Style and I, Confessions of a Montreal Styling Diva, Independent Fashion Bloggers